Jane Austen Books

They're All Nuts. Beautiful Glossy Nuts.

2010-08-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

Captain Wentworth doesn't always know what he's talking about. Not surprising, considering he doesn't have any clue about women, either. Ok, he can write a good letter (*spoiler alert*), I'll give him that, but practically the entire novel is spent waiting for him to figure out just what the heck he wants.

One of the moments that makes me sigh and roll my eyes at dear, dopey Frederick, comes when he is instructing Louisa to be firm and resolute (like a glossy nut, remember?) Jimmy, can we get a clip?

"Happy for her, to have such a mind as yours at hand! After the hints you gave just now, which did but confirm my own observations, the last time I was in company with him, I need not affect to have no comprehension of what is going on. I see that more than a mere dutiful morning visit to your aunt was in question; and woe betide him, and her too, when it comes to things of consequence, when they are placed in circumstances requiring fortitude and strength of mind, if she have not resolution enough to resist idle interference in such a trifle as this. Your sister is an amiable creature; but yours is the character of decision and firmness, I see. If you value her conduct or happiness, infuse as much of your own spirit into her as you can. But this, no doubt, you have been always doing. It is the worst evil of too yielding and indecisive a character, that no influence over it can be depended on. You are never sure of a good impression being durable; everybody may sway it. Let those who would be happy be firm. Here is a nut," said he, catching one down from an upper bough, "to exemplify: a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not a weak spot any where. This nut," he continued, with playful solemnity, "while so many of its brethren have fallen and been trodden under foot, is still in possession of all the happiness that a hazel nut can be supposed capable of." Then returning to his former earnest tone -- "My first wish for all whom I am interested in, is that they should be firm. If Louisa Musgrove would be beautiful and happy in her November of life, she will cherish all her present powers of mind."

So, here's our hapless hero, caught chatting up another girl, and totally oblivious to his own self-contradictions. If you read again the part to which I added emphasis, you'll notice that our gallant Captain is telling Louisa that her sister is so "yielding and indecisive" that Louisa must "infuse … [her] own spirit into her." Because to his mind, nothing is as attractive as a woman who is firm and resolute in her own behavior. Unless that behavior isn't firm and resolute enough. In which case I guess she's being firm and resolute in not being firm and resolute? Or is she not firm and resolute because she's ... gaaaah! Forget it!

Okay, wait, I'll try one more time.

Louisa: good because she has the strength of mind to resist being swayed by the airs and interference of others.
Henrietta: bad because she can't resist being swayed by the airs and interference of her sister. But also bad because she continuously resists being swayed by the airs and interference of her sister.

Alright, I give up. My dearest Louisa, you are out of your head. But at least you are determined to be consistent in your inability to be swayed by the opinions of others, right? Well, that is, until that cute sad guy comes along with his book of poetry... tsk tsk, Miss Musgrove. And Freddy, I love you, and you look fantastic in that sailor suit (oops, wrong link... try this one), but jeez, you really need to stick to navigatin' and shootin' and pillagin' and all that man stuff you did in the navy. Because when it comes to women, you're way out to sea.

Needless to say, this little conversation jumps out at me every time I read it, and makes me wonder just why the heck Anne still wants this guy back!

Oh... right... he's kinda hunky. :D

JANE AUSTEN'S FIGHT CLUB

2010-07-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Or:
Jane Austen's Miami Vice
Jane Austen's Super Mario Brothers 3
How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Jane Austen

I have seen the clip, it having been forwarded to me seven times (and counting!) by various friends, knowing I, the resident "Austen nut" would probably get a kick out of it.

And I did.

However, as much as I appreciate the clever reworking of Jane's famous lines, the hilarious stunt work, and the attractiveness of the young gentlemen in their regency finery (what can I say, I'm a sucker for a hottie in a cravat), this latest round of "what can we do to shock the Janeites" has left me only slightly willing to engage in the next.

We've seen a ninja-style Elizabeth ward off blood-sucking zombies, (buy it now!) a tentacled Colonel Brandon, (buy it now!) and now the titillating (and titular) viral clip made by a group of young women for their church's annual film festival.¹ One might wonder what's next – Jane Austen's Toy Story? Jane Austen Steak Knives? The Jane Austen Personal Home Delousing Set? (eeeeew)

See, the problem isn't that they're mocking Jane Austen. It's that they're mocking an idea of her works that's obviously based almost entirely on what they've seen in films or what they remember from their high school Lit class. And come on, all I can remember from that class is wondering how I could get my hair to look like Natalie's. Hi, Natalie. (I know… high school, right?)

But as I've spent more and more time in the modern commercial world of Jane Austen sequels, spinoffs, prequels, spin-ons (is that even a thing?), festivals, and clever pajamas (they really are, don't you think?), I've found that while many are actually rather good, too many of them have their sights set on the wrong targets. It's all well and good to laugh at Jane Austen; in fact, from what we've seen of her family correspondence, she welcomed it. But that's not what these modern satires are doing.

"Ok, nerd," you may ask, "where do these satires go wrong?"

"Well, jerk," I may answer,² "read my blog."

Here's where; so many of these satirical works take aim at the very things Austen herself was satirizing. They make fun of the restrictive social caste structure of the regency period – so did Jane! They comment on the mundane dryness of life among the leisure class – so did Jane! They scorn the idea that women are simply property or accessories – so did Jane! (Or was I hallucinating when I read that whole "rational creatures" bit?³)

Their attempt is to shock us through methods they believe would have shocked Jane Austen. But they've been punked – they're the ones who missed the joke. She didn't write about proper, churchmouse, meek heroines and damsels in distress⁴ who would serve as a foil to their butched-up, vamped-up, zombie fighting, Ed Norton impersonating femme fatales. Indeed her most famous protagonist, rather than being the "proper Englishwoman" of her age, actually turned down two marriage proposals in the first half of the book! In addition to which, she: insulted her future husband, to his face, repeatedly, while spreading shocking rumors about him; flirted in polite company with a man she never (seriously) intended to marry; along with her father, repeatedly disrespected both her mother and younger sisters; insulted and embarrassed her "best friend" when informed of her plans for marriage; lied to her parents; lied to her "dearest" sister; mocked her neighbors; and of course – cheated poor Anne DeBourgh out of a marriage. And this is the one we're supposed to like the most!

And what of the men? Aren't they all prim and proper, that is, until one of them drinks himself into a rapacious passion and takes advantage of the poor… wait, no, that's just Brontësteless.⁵

Actually, my favorite one of them is kind of a nerd. Yeah, Henry Tilney. He spends all his time either hanging out at home with his dogs (Newfoundland puppies… be still, my heart!) or hanging out with his SISTER. READING. He can talk with anybody about anything, even to his girlfriend's vain vacation guardian about the fabric of her dress. He's not some stuffy upper-class strut machine (mmm… Darcy), but didn't we just talk about that? Elizabeth ripped Darcy a new one for being a stuffy upper-class strut machine! And she's the one we like the most!!

What I'm trying to say is, this method of satirizing Jane Austen is like calling an ambulance for Harold Lloyd. It screams to the world "Help me! I don't get the joke!"

The most clever Austen satires are those, like the classic Emma adapatation, Clueless, which not only get the jokes, but expand on them and create an entirely new reality in which those jokes still work. The Bollywood-ified Bride and Prejudice is another example of this – Mr Kohli's idiotic egotism is second only to that of Mr Collins himself. These adaptations are funny because we're laughing with Jane Austen; laughing at her jokes, appreciating and reinterpreting her language, and her scathing social commentary.

Merely pulling a few costumes, settings, names, and Regency-era social trappings out of her books and inverting them doesn't get me too hot and bothered.

But the cravat…?

Oh heck yes.

1. I swear that's true, I read it on a blog.
2. But only if you say my name as well; for while I'm used to being called a nerd, I may not answer to it if I am in a room with my darling nerdy husband.
3. I promise, it's in this chapter. Near the bottom. No, further. Keep reading, a little prose is healthy. You should include a larger allowance of it in your daily study. (Ok, that part's in Chapter 11.)
4. Except Fanny.
5. My new term for the Brontë sisters' lack of restraint and poor grasp on reality. It will shorten many a long literary conversation.

It's an Austen World

2010-04-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

I'm curious about something - how did you "meet" Jane Austen? And how has she changed your life?

For my sister and I, her acquaintance was a birthright. As soon as we were old enough to listen, my mother began reading us her favorite Austen novels. When we were old enough to watch the movie without it spoiling our enjoyment of the book, we watched the 1980 Masterpiece Theatre adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.

Let me clarify - when I say "we watched it," I don't mean we saw it once or twice. I mean we did what little girls do with our favorite movies. We watched it until the tape wore out. Sick days did not pass without at least one viewing of the movie, and it has always remained my "model of the amiable and pleasing." (And thankfully, no circumstance has yet arisen to lend the same irony to that particular quote.)

But other than the 1980 version of P&P, starring Elizabeth Garvie and David Rintoul, I never watched any Austen movies as a child or young adult. I read the books - almost all of them, with the notable exception of Mansfield Park, which I put off until my 20's.

We were lucky enough to accompany my mother on a business trip to the UK when I was 14 years old. She managed to convince my dad to drive to Chawton and visit Jane Austen's house. In addition to seeing the house and the village which "Our Dear Jane" knew so well, we were given the opportunity to experience being in her country; walking on the creaky carpeted floors of guest houses with two hundred years' worth of English breakfast smells soaked into them, strolling across fields and over stiles (though sadly, without the benefit of a gown to let down over my muddy pants to hide the 6 inches of mud), and hearing, shouted from open windows, which of the widows in town were "still in 'ospital" and which were "on the mend."

I was also privileged enough to accompany my mother to meetings of our local JASNA group. (JASNA is the Jane Austen Society of North America - found here: JASNA. Our local group can be found here: JASNA Ohio North Coast) Here, even as a child, I was given the advantage of the best masters, and instructed in Regency dancing, as well as the more academic aspects of Austen's novels. And as an adult, I was able to do fantastic things, like attending my first AGM in Tucson, AZ in 2006. (For those of you who don't know, a Jane Austen Society Annual General Meeting (AGM) is like a big party for Janeites; it is half scholarship, half Regency-themed fun.)

A few years ago, we were given another opportunity that we couldn't pass up. The summer my first son was born, we took over Jane Austen Books. Now I have the privilege of having access to one of the best libraries of Austen-related works on the planet, as well as an excuse to attend every future AGM! (We've already got two under our belts - check out our photos page to see some of the fun we've had.)

So now that you know part of my story, let me return to my original question. How did you meet Jane? And how has she changed your life?

--Amy Patterson